Let’s pretend… Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn all go away due to lack of funding or revenues. What happens next?

If you are a social media consultant how will you advise your clients to continue their social media efforts? If you are a company how will you maintain your social media efforts?

Are you serious about social media enough to innovate or come up with another strategy to use social media to stay connected with your customers, prospects, employees, investors, etc.?

Seriously, have you thought about it?

[Phew! This goes on record for one of my shortest posts ever!]

“A guy walks into a bar…”

Kidding. 

It actually goes more like this “a communicator walks into a meeting and the VP or client says ‘I want bloggers!’” (or we want a “well known” social media consultant!)

I used ‘communicator’ because I don’t want to be accused of continually beating up the PR rank and file and because it’s not always PR folks, it’s also marketers and organizations/clients seeking social media consultants. 

So what’s the pickup line you ask? “I/We LOVE your blog!” 

If you have a blog I am sure you’ve heard it before. Someone wants something from you and they figure the quickest way in is to flatter your blog. What annoys me about this pickup line is the assumption that bloggers are so vane that sucking up with an insincere one-liner will make them give you what you want. A lot of us bloggers don’t blog to be self-important. We blog because it’s a space for us to share our thoughts, insights or opinions and to be a part of the community (whether that’s marketing, social media, golfing, wine, shopping, business, whatever…). 

When I get this line (and my gut tells me they are insincere), I’ll usually say “Hey thanks! So tell, me what posts have you liked or disagreed with the most?” The usual reply: “er, um, ah…” Yeah, thought so. Another indication of insincerity is that they have never once commented or even tried to be a part of the community. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you want something from someone who blogs―whether it’s a blog post you seek or consulting services-don’t enter the relationship with a cheesy one-liner. It doesn’t work in a bar and it surely doesn’t work in business because no one wants to be just a person on your list. (Actually, this is just good advice for interpersonal relations…people know when they are being used, no matter how smooth, suave or smart *you* might think you are.) Relationships do matter regardless of the situation.

Next time you find yourself uttering those words, remember that you have just joined the ranks of being “that guy (or girl).” (In case you don’t know what that means… it’s the obnoxious person no one wants to be near.)

Have you heard any other one-liners recently?

When my friend Steve Woodruff (yep, the guy of StickyFigure fame) asked me to participate in his ‘Five in the Morning’ series I was excited, yet immediately mortified. “Steve, I never get up at 5AM!” Steve insisted that it’s really “Five, in the Morning” but I don’t believe him! I think he is seriously up at 5am each and every morning hunting down the best posts for you all to read and then he has coffee (an amazing feat in my world). As well, you know me… I am not a fan of creating my own lists because I really hate leaving so many great blog posts out (and I read a lot!). For me it would be more like 50, in the Morning.

Well, it’s almost 8am and I’ve found some interesting posts for you all (and since I am playing catch up from yesterday, they all aren’t from today…):

Let’s face it, kids love piñata’s because they know once it’s cracked open there are a ton of yummy treats falling upon them. And it only takes one experience with a piñata to make them want to do it over and over (gee, sales people and business development people get this already). Geoff Livingston asks why do us adults make getting to the treats so difficult?

Risk aversion is everywhere these days and it’s important to make our communications and connections count. Sometimes the very uphill battle we face can be conquered with simply having the mindset, “If you can’t change it, promote it.” And Valeria Maltoni asks us to consider that very thing this morning and how conversations can help to get up that hill.

“‘Hmmm…how many phone calls and lunch dates do I need to have with her to make her my friend?’ Sounds crazy, right?” Why yes, Lisa Hoffmann, that does sound crazy!! So, why do companies think like this when it comes to social media? Why do they want the easy rules and short cuts to creating relationships?

Lots of people are losing their jobs and clients are walking away from the table, it happens from time-to-to-time and it seems to be happening even more these days. Daria Steigman shares with us 5 lessons we can learn from such situations to make them work in our favor (Hint: relationships and communications).

Susan Murphy shares with us a visual example of what living inside a bubble can do to our relationships, well, outside the bubble. And I don’t mean like the ‘Bubble Boy,’ he lived alone inside his bubble and well, we all know what disastrous outcomes there were once the Seinfeld friends arrived on the scene.

This 5, in the morning post was sponsored by “Relations & Communications LLC.” They have the hard job of always proving their worth, so why not give them a try…I’m sure they’d love the business!

And, finally, if you’d like more 5 in the Morning posts…don’t count on me! But, you can count on Steve Woodruff because he rises with the roosters!

Steve Woodruff’s blog: StickyFigure
And on Twitter you can find him at @swoodruff

[Image: The Consumerist]