Well, today I got my first pitch as a blogger. It would have been a proud moment, if the pitch weren’t so odd…and, well, bad.

Here’s the thing, as a PR practitioner, I’ve never wanted to be one of “those people.” You know the type, one that could care less if they a) tick the editor off because they wasted their time or got their name wrong or b) has been corrected by them. Both would be so embarrassing—the latter, unbearable.

There are so many blogs posts on how to pitch editors, journalists, reporters and now bloggers that I won’t bore you with a “how to pitch” post.

Here’s the pitch. Read it through, chuckle, and let me know what you think.

Subject: Sneak Peek: New Calendar Marketing Concept from [Company Name Here]

Hi Beth Harte [Yes, that's my name, stick it in a form e-mail without punctuation. That's fine; I know you're lazy.]

I am sending you advance notice of [fluffy marketing terms here, also known as gobbledygook] an entirely new marketing medium that will be released later this week.

[Company name with more gobbledygook] is a permission-based marketing medium for businesses to promote time-sensitive products and services.  It has similarities with email marketing services, but the delivery is to electronic calendars. [You mean it's not e-mail going to a paper calendar? Phew! Glad you clarified that for me.]

The platform delivers marketing offers as embedded calendar events into electronic calendars [you don't say, still electronic, huh?]. As these time-based offers are placed in a medium [um, would that be the calendar?] where the customer makes their scheduling decisions every day [yes, isn't that what a calendar is for?!], the marketing offer is timely, relevant, and acted upon [uh, huh, and can you guarantee that?]. For example, a retailer sends a notice of a weekend sale with a coupon or a travel supplier creates live calendar feeds with last minute travel deals… [Who reacts last minute to a travel deal? Wouldn't they be on their way out the door? Just saying...]

Marketers now have a new method to engage their customers while building loyalty and driving sales. [New marketing buzz word here. BTW, hope you have a large budget.] is a great complement for marketers engaged in email campaigns to an existing subscriber list or loyalty customers. [Is that your way of saying ‘It's okay, really, this isn't a spam machine'?]

We have posted a 3-minute screencast on our website at the following location.  You can check it out via the link below. [Okay, got it the first time.]

When we launch later this week, we will invite you back [say what?!] to try it out for yourself. We are interested in your thoughts and look forward to your feedback.

Warm Regards,
Name
[blog]

Let me get this straight…you will invite me back later AFTER the launch?! Where’s my “sneak peek???” Is it at the same location as the other 100,000 people you spammed? Gee, thanks.

Here’s some advice, both marketing and PR (no light bulb moments here folks):

1. Send a personalized note.
2. Don’t use gobbledygook.
3. Perfect your writing.
4. Don’t tease; it’s just rude and a waste of time.
5. Don’t assume because you have a blog I will feel a camaraderie.
6. If you are pitching a sneak preview, make it exclusive.
7. If you honestly want my feedback, invite me to an exclusive beta (and not 4 days before the launch).

I am sure there are more tips, but I think you get the point. And, I am still just too scorned over the bait & switch (uh, not really) to add an solid advice here. It just seems such a basic what not to do. What’s your take?

[Photo: iStock]