The Pickup Line
“A guy walks into a bar…”
Kidding.
It actually goes more like this “a communicator walks into a meeting and the VP or client says ‘I want bloggers!’” (or we want a “well known” social media consultant!)
I used ‘communicator’ because I don’t want to be accused of continually beating up the PR rank and file and because it’s not always PR folks, it’s also marketers and organizations/clients seeking social media consultants.
So what’s the pickup line you ask? “I/We LOVE your blog!”
If you have a blog I am sure you’ve heard it before. Someone wants something from you and they figure the quickest way in is to flatter your blog. What annoys me about this pickup line is the assumption that bloggers are so vane that sucking up with an insincere one-liner will make them give you what you want. A lot of us bloggers don’t blog to be self-important. We blog because it’s a space for us to share our thoughts, insights or opinions and to be a part of the community (whether that’s marketing, social media, golfing, wine, shopping, business, whatever…).
When I get this line (and my gut tells me they are insincere), I’ll usually say “Hey thanks! So tell, me what posts have you liked or disagreed with the most?” The usual reply: “er, um, ah…” Yeah, thought so. Another indication of insincerity is that they have never once commented or even tried to be a part of the community.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you want something from someone who blogs―whether it’s a blog post you seek or consulting services-don’t enter the relationship with a cheesy one-liner. It doesn’t work in a bar and it surely doesn’t work in business because no one wants to be just a person on your list. (Actually, this is just good advice for interpersonal relations…people know when they are being used, no matter how smooth, suave or smart *you* might think you are.) Relationships do matter regardless of the situation.
Next time you find yourself uttering those words, remember that you have just joined the ranks of being “that guy (or girl).” (In case you don’t know what that means… it’s the obnoxious person no one wants to be near.)
Have you heard any other one-liners recently?
Tags: 24 Responses to “The Pickup Line”
Leave a Reply
[...] more here: The Pickup Line Tagged as: active-base, actually-goes, also-marketers, client-says, clients-seeking, internet, [...]
Hope you’re well.
We’d love to have you help out, but we have no money.
You asked a lot of questions, we were looking for answers.
What does Twitter do?
Can you guarantee that will work?
Our Facebook group doesn’t seem to be working. (they have 43 members)
Can you show us some short-cuts?
What’s the ROI on that?
We need to improve the bottom line but I’m too busy this week.
Kneale Mann´s last blog ..Admiring Your Shot
Last week’s famous one-liners:
Why should I use Twitter? I don’t want to let strangers know what I am doing for my company…
Never use Facebook for business – it’s only to use with your college friends…
That will only take you guys a few minutes to do, right? (4 hours of progamming…)
Isn’t there an easier way to get more visitors to the site?
OMG I have heard so much about you guys – what is it you do again?
Leslie Fishlock´s last blog ..Customer Service in the state of “Now”
It’s kinda like when you have a mob of people show up b/c someone told em’ that you’re a big deal. A little flattering at first, but then it ends up being more work getting em’ up to speed.
Not really a bad thing, just a tad unnecessary. All the more reason to follow your advice:
” …if you want something from someone who blogs―whether it’s a blog post you seek or consulting services-don’t enter the relationship with a cheesy one-liner. Its doesn’t work in a bar and it surely doesn’t work in business because no one wants to be just a person on your list.”
Narciso Tovar, Big Noise Communications´s last blog ..Training Day & PR (4 of 4)
How much does a polar bear weigh?…enough to break the ice, Hi my name is David, social media expert, can I get you a facebook page?
But seriously…true. Even if you decide to reach out to someone without establishing a relationship first, lying about reading their blog isn’t going to help your cause. If I send out an outreach email to someone after only reading their blog once, I read a few posts and may even state in my email that I just came across their blog and where I found it.
David
@DavidSpinks
@Scribnia
David Spinks´s last blog ..Mentor Monday: Yan Shikhvarger
Love the end of your second-to-last paragraph. So much of what holds true offline is the same on the Web. You have to build relationships before you can start asking for favors.
In dating, if you really like someone, you take the time to get to know them, find out what they are interested in, see what they have in common with you, and try to woo them. You don’t swoop in with a cheesy pick-up line (if you actually want a shot at a date). It’s the same with bloggers – they’re PEOPLE, and they can sniff out insincerity.
That said, I like David’s point above that sometimes you can reach out to someone with whom you don’t have a relationship with, if you do it tactfully. I like his idea of sending an e-mail to a blogger after you discover their blog and just let them know that you’re out there, you’re reading, and you like what you’ve seen so far.
amymengel´s last blog ..The secret to avoiding a YouTube crisis – revealed!
Just realize that you are competing against people with passion…who don’t have to read this blog (yet do anyway, because they are legitimately interested in what Beth has to say).
Sorry, reading 5 posts from this isn’t going to cut it. Especially if you are meeting Beth in person…
Stuart Foster´s last blog ..Can’t Close? Activate Your Community
Ugh, I got taken by a bestselling author who wanted me to review her book on my personal blog (back when I was in the fiction space and doing reviews). Naively, I looked at it as “networking” and obliged. I never heard from her again. Now I’m a lot more cynical about the “I love your blog” stuff!
I think this also applies to outreach to prospective partners — resellers overseas, with whom it’s difficult to get face time and build relationships. Now I’m wondering if I should encourage clients to take more time with those prospects, or if it’s enough (as in “more traditional business”) to approach with a tailored message (”why your company would benefit from my product”)?
Christa M. Miller´s last blog ..Blending professional and personal in Aurora (Illinois)
“I love your blog” doesn’t even accomplish anything, even if you have read every post. I prefer to comment with a response to an individual post, adding something, arguing with something, etc. Often, when I see “I love your blog,” I read “I skimmed this but am gonna say I love it because it’s the nice thing to do.” Even when sincere, it doesn’t add to the conversation the blogger is trying to create.
That said, I’m not anti-compliments. I’d just prefer a line after the “loving” that discussed the subject matter itself.
R. Devin Hughes´s last blog ..How to get noticed on Twitter
The process of building relationships – genuine relationships – hasn’t changed. It doesn’t matter if the pickup line is “I love your blog!” or “You have the best taste in clothes! Where did you find that outfit?” One must be real in order to find and build true two-way relationships.
Susan´s last blog ..Community Managers in Internal Communications
I get this one from guys trying to sell me stocks…
“Did you take advantage of that tip I left in comments for you last month? We’ve been making a killing on that.”
Of course, there were no comments, never have been.
I agree with R. Devin Hughes. I do a lot of consulting and speaking, and I hate to hear, “I loved your talk.” or, “You did a great job.”
I’d rather hear, “That advice you gave made a huge difference in our bottom line,” or “I’ve got a whole new outlook on this, can I ask a follow-up question?”
Keep the conversation going. Then I know you’re sincere and not just blowing smoke.
Phil Wrzesinski´s last blog ..Your Products Tell Your Story
Hi Beth,
So they don’t love me, really love me? Way to shatter a girl’s dreams.
You’re absolutely right: relationships matter, at least to the bulk of us who aren’t shallow enough to buy a cheesy pick-up line. And you can’t build a relationship with someone if you only show up when you need something.
Of course, there’s an upside to the hucksters: they’re easy to spot and even easier to ignore.
Best,
Daria
Daria Steigman´s last blog ..6 Reasons to Pay Attention to HealthReform.gov
I don’t read the paper anymore. I just follow your facebook.
Michael Troiano (@miketrap)´s last blog ..New! Social Media Barbie…
Well the old adage is true.
People do business with they know, like and trust. Some cheesy one liner isn’t going to get anyone into that category.
If you get to know who you want to have a relationship with the odds of it actually happening are greater.
Jamie Favreau´s last blog ..#journchat LIVE Aug 17, 2009
Boy does this sound like a client I had yesterday.
Initial consultation & he’s all about ROI, results, blah blah blah and I ask, “OK, but what exactly are you looking to accomplish here, big-picture wise? What is it, other than the obvious fund-raising, that you want to do?”
“We’re on a tight budget, we don’t have many resources, I don’t see a value… we need to raise money, but how much is this gonna cost?”
He was all about the numbers, yet didn’t know what he even wanted to do, and rolled his eyes and scoffed at the possibility of building relationships with your prospects.
I wanted to bash my head onto the desk.
Usually when I get the “I love your blog!” line it’s for pitches that were submitted via my blog’s contact form . . . and the pitch has nothing to do with my blog at all.
The last one I got was from somebody wanting me to blog about their maid/housecleaning service: “Your blog is impressive and I believe your viewers/subscribers are similar to the type of individuals that subscribe/use our marketplace.” Uh … because I talk about cleaning my house all the time on my blog? If you’ve seen my place, you’d see I obviously need a maid but I’ll be damned if I’m going to blog about it!
Stacy Lukas´s last blog ..Introducing a new kind of journalism for a new era
Hi, Beth. You make some good points in this post — ones I think speak not only to engaging with bloggers but also to having legitimate and authentic dialogue in business communications.
In the same way I would filter someone who ‘loves’ your blog by asking what they thought about a recent post, I’d also say it’s worth evaluating blogs based on whether you get substantive engagement. Often the proxy for this is comments.
When we’re blogging successfully we’re engaging others in dialogue. So I think the two-way check is whether the blog post/site/whatever really was the catalyst for dialogue (rather than just the set-up for a pick-up line). And that goes not only for readers but also for the blogger.
Good conversation here, as always.
And congrats on your new role at MarketingProfs. I look forward to both me and my colleagues at Silverpop collaborating with you and your marketing community at ‘Profs.
Adam Needles´s last blog ..Using Email to Drive Webinar ROI and Success
Beth, I think the line that frustrates me most: “I was referred to you by X, I would love to pick your brain a little.” This was a trap I fell into time and time again, especially right out of college. I was working hard trying to find a job, so I was willing to let almost anyone and everyone “pick my brain a little.” While it sounded like a compliment and an open door to potential new opportunities, I quickly learned there was a fine line between picking my brain and taking advantage. There is nothing wrong with tossing around ideas, but it is a completely different story when they are simply being sucked out of you.
Nicole Hamilton´s last blog ..“Pleasure in the Job Puts Perfection in the World”
I love this post. It’s the kind of fearless stuff that makes you a must-read, Beth.
You are 100% right. Seriously, I would rather people write me and say “you know, I think you’re totally full of crap, and here’s why” than get more of the “I love your blog” Trojan horse pitches.
Bravo for saying what many are thinking – as usual.
Jason Baer´s last blog ..Beth Kanter – The Twitter 20 Interview on Social Media and Social Change
“I love your blog and we’d love to have something just like it, in your voice, reflecting your experiences and impressions, and with your quirky sense of humor. Oh, and we can’t spare any of our staff or expend any of our time on developing any of the content. We’d love to get started, but only if we’re assured of a significant ROI.”
I don’t know about you, but when I hear those magic lines, I can’t wait to get started.
The other instant giveaway? “Great post!”
Blogger outreach is not a bad thing in itself. It really isn’t. But like most things, a lot of education goes a long way. As a PR guy, I can tell you that it’s important to educate the client that this is not a numbers game. Getting 200 blogs to write about you (or 10,000 new followers on Twitter) doesn’t mean anything if you haven’t taken the time to nurture a community of committed advocates who are passionate about you/your product/your brand.
And seriously, Beth, I do love your blog. I’ll even point out which posts have inspired me in the past.
Cheers,
Michael
@KnealeMann, geez Louise, sounds like you’ve heard them all!
@LeslieFishlock, Bah! Classic: OMG I have heard so much about you guys – what is it you do again?
@NarcisoTovar, here’s one you can appreciate “I LOVE your movies!” “Yeah, what’s your favorite scene in X?” “Um, all of them!” Heh.
@DavidSpinks, you know what, even if they don’t read the blog, I’d have more respect if they said that. To your point though, that’s how one does old-fashioned media relations…you call the journalist and say “I am new here (or I just saw your column), and I wanted to introduce myself.” No hidden agendas. Journalists respect that.
@AmyMengel, how about we respond with “I’m just not that into you…”
@StuartFoster, hey thanks for that! Let’s put it this way, if @DavidSpinks asked me for some Scribnia love…I’d give it to him just because he’s taken the time to get to know me, build a relationship with me, and host a tweetup with me. That’s called relationship building.
@ChristaMiller, yeah, we’ve all fallen into the trap once or twice!
I think human relations are international. That said, it’s really up to the prospects how they want the clients to build those relations. They might prefer a trip overseas or they might be okay with online networking. It really depends on the culture.
@RDevinHughes, well, it’s usually “We/I love your blog…how can we work together?” Huh? I don’t even know you. It’s just bad business.
@Susan, I just love your glasses, they are smashing! Tell me, how do you cultivate such amazing internal relationships? You’re phenomenal at it! Any pointers?”
@PhilWrzesinski, Classic! How ‘bout: Hey want to do a guest post on topic X? I wrote a post and had over 50 comments and 100 emails!” Duh, didn’t you think *I’d* check you out?
@DariaSteigman, no they do…see, it’s all very sincere, I promise!
I try to ignore them and I get bombarded with e-mail. It’s like they will do everything in their power to make me crack.
@MichaelTroiano, You’re my favorite on Facebook, I promise!
@JamieFavreau, it is true, but in business people think that’s the way to get the upperhand over a vendor… “Oh, we think you are great, but how about you come in and present to us so we can get consensus on that.” Oy.
@StacyLukas, gee, I hope they don’t love my blog…or else you’re in trouble. LOL!
BTW, I love you on Twitter and noticed that you like to wear hats, I have a collection of super duper fancy hats that I think your readers and Twitter followers would just love to pieces! Call me, smooches!”
@AdamNeedles, there has not been one single PR person who has pitched me that has engaged in conversation with me here on my blog or on Twitter. And if they are a PR person pitching marketing/PR tools/webinars/etc., that’s pretty sad…and it’s definitely not relationship building.
@NicoleHamilton, the worst part is we feel guilty, but they have no issue. So many times I’d like to say “You can pick my brain, but it’s $200 an hour…still interested?” Hmmm, maybe I will.
@JasonBaer, It’s a bad habit, I just say what’s on my mind…
Thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it!
@JohnHeaney, LMAO! I think that’s the winner.
@MichaelRubin, I never said blogger outreach was a bad thing. There are some folks who are great at it because they understand the importance of building relationships with bloggers (typically they are have great relationships with journalists too). The check is in the mail!
I am rarely pitched as a blogger/influencer in any way that could be described as professional. Its always way too promotional, not at all relevant, or simply spam. We need a best practices or some kind of bloggers bill of rights. Something I can point to when I have get a bad pitch, something constructive that can help educate.
Although I imagine many times, people are just taking the easy way out and not looking to take the time to improve their
Jason Keath´s last blog ..‘Interactive’ Websites Need to Evolve Faster
We’re writing a local newspaper article on local bloggers and your blog is really interesting, would you be willing to interview with us?
Umm, my blog is an anonymous blog mostly about a condition I don’t want the local paper readers – eh hem, my mom and her boss, reading about. No thanks. If you’d read a single post you’d have gathered the fact that I write under a pseudonym and don’t write for the general public.
Oats (Justin)´s last blog ..Fallout
[...] love your blog! Beth Harte describes the scene when individuals who say “I love your blog!” hoping to manipulate you through flattery, yet [...]