Here a ping, there a ping…
Recently, the New York Times ran an article called Brave New World of Digital Intimacy that dives into how relationships have changed now that interaction with others-and our lives- are shared on-line via applications like Facebook and Twitter.
According to the article, ‘social scientists have a name for this sort of incessant online contact. They call it “ambient awareness.” It is, they say, very much like being physically near someone and picking up on his mood through the little things he does – body language, sighs, stray comments – out of the corner of your eye.’
A lot of updates are limited to 140 characters and applications like ping.fm make it easy to broadcast daily minutiae across multiple applications at the same time. There seems to be an assumption that broadcasting equates to participation in social media and its applications. It certainly makes it easier, right? Instant communicate to all networks with one push of the enter key.
But is communication with the network the same as conversing with the network? Connie Reece recently asked the question “are you conversationally tone-deaf?” and explained that one-way conversation (i.e. broadcasting) does not equate to a social media best practice.
Social media leaders, who understand the importance of conversation, leave different update statuses on different applications like Twitter, Plurk and Facebook. Why? Because they use the applications for the different purposes they serve. Perhaps Twitter for business, Plurk for friends and Facebook for the combination of the two. Time consuming? Yes. But importantly, they realize that their communities are different on each networking application and conversations on each will be different.
The article goes on to say that, “…this is the paradox of ambient awareness. Each little update-each individual bit of social information-is insignificant on its own, even supremely mundane. But taken together, over time, the little snippets coalesce into a surprisingly sophisticated portrait of your friends’ and family members’ lives, like thousands of dots making a pointillist painting.”
But, that’s not entirely accurate. The portrait being seen is the one painted by the broadcaster. They control what is known about them. Without any meaningful conversation, whether on-line or in person, it is truly impossible to know that person. Basing relationships on what broadcasted messages they leave behind can lead to potential parasocial behavior. Conversation is an art. It takes practice and is time consuming. Having ambient awareness isn’t enough to develop a meaningful relationship. And as more people start using social media tools to broadcast and not converse, social media will become no more than traditional marketing utilizing on-line tools.
Ultimately as marketers it’s important to understand that broadcasting via social media tools will not help to engage customers, partners or employees anymore than newsletters and e-mail marketing do (i.e. one-way conversation). Ambient awareness does not truly provide the body language, sighs, stray comments that are only apparent during a real conversation. The only way to get to understand your customers, partners or employees and their wants, needs and goals/objectives is to have a traditional conversation. No tool or amount of broadcasting can replace that.
What’s your take on ambient awareness?
[NYT article hat tip: Alan Wolk]
[Image: iStock]
Tags: 10 Responses to “Here a ping, there a ping…”
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I think the “best practices” of social media involve a level of “What can I do for you?” rather than just a “What can you do for me?” attitude. That said, people can’t know how you can help them unless you provide a little insight into yourself, and let people get to know you, even if it’s in this ambient attention sort of way.
For example, in 140 characters, I am happy to provide a snippet of my thoughts or day, but I probably wouldn’t write a whole email to friends with those minor kvetches or with notices of my latest blog post. However, arrows to those properties probably does provide some insight into what I’m trying to accomplish in social media.
I like learning more about people based on these ambient attention sources, being directed towards things I probably wouldn’t find on my own- it widens my fishbowl into a bigger pond.
But nothing replaces supplementing this ambient awareness with the real life, face to face meetings you have at tweetups, Podcamps, and other events, where you match the real world person to the online persona- then you are taking steps to really create a relationship, not just eavesdropping into someone’s life.
I have gotten to know many people through 140 characters. However, I would agree that a definition as I understand it of “ambient awareness” would include face-to-face or voice-to-voice conversation because of the importance of the body language/tones/etc.
It has amazed me that when I do get face-to-face with many people – they are just as I thought I ‘knew’ them via social media.
Others I get to meet face-to-face first, then develop a closer relationship with via social media. (YOU!)
I’ve been associated with online communities since the late 80’s, and often find it funny to meet someone I primarily know from a virtual world face-2-face. Conversation is awkward, as we already know very well how each of us are doing. The question, “So what have you been up to” never really comes into play. Conversations immediately progresses to the next level with follow up questions to what we already know.
In an online environment, yes, the broadcaster does controls the message, but don’t we in real life as well? Do you really tell business contacts EVERYTHING you are up to? Actually, I think we tend to share more in a virtual setting then in some of out real life encounters.
The other day my 10 year old called me out when referring to one of my online friends as “a Friend”. He didn’t understand how this person was my friend when I never met them face to face. I think he now understands, as the person in question was visiting our house for dinner as she was in town (or should I say country) as part of a business trip. My son was a bit taken back that my friend knew things about him, like what he got for his birthday, and how he faired on a fishing outing the week before. Not only that but the gifts she brought were right on the money. Dad? How did she know you LOVE starbucks?
Yes, social media has made this world a lot smaller.
I think a lot of this has to do with people thinking beyond themselves to what they can do to help others versus what others can do for them. Certainly all relationships are a give and take but there’s something to be said for giving a lot….of yourself.
I’ve argued with myself regarding Twitter followers and friending people in other places because I know I will miss some important stuff because I’m looking at so much. This isn’t conversation, it’s getting a feel for what’s going on in the community at any given moment.
A conversation is what we had standing at the table in Philly. A conversation is when you reach out to someone on those networks and encourage their projects or talk about what’s important to them.
This also applies to any business reaching out to their customers and saying what do you need. What is the one thing that can make this product/service better for you? Then really listening and making the changes.
That’s conversation.
[...] Beth Harte ponders the differences between broadcasting and conversation and gives her take on “ambient awarenessR…. [...]
Great post Beth!
I agree that the Face2Face is and always will be critical. Non-Verbal Communications is over 90% of what we say to others.
I think a lot of what Social Media provides for business connections is “Evidence” of who a person is. Recommendations on LinkedIn and good comments on a blog says “this person is respected” and thus it may set the tone for the real-world conversation.
Everyone, thanks for your great comments! Apologies for the late responses, I was at the wonderful Small Business Marketing Unleashed Conference in OH.
@WhitneyHoffman, from a business perspective, you raise a great point regarding changing our mindsets to “what can I do for you.” Providing a platform is really important and you won’t know the answers to that question unless you ask and listen. Through micro comments we might be able to perceive what someone wants and who they are, but you won’t truly know because there’s always the potential for misperceived inflections or context, etc. That’s where the usefulness of ambient awareness ends and face-to-face begins (if that’s what the next step is).
I also like the use of eavesdropping. From a “friend” perspective it does seem like that. I wonder if businesses see it as eavesdropping or research.
@KimWood, interesting that you say that. Being here at Small Business Marketing Unleashed in OH this week, a lot of people are making that same comment “I feel like I know them already because of Twitter.” But do you really know them or just the persona they put out there? Personally, I think what’s great is when you feel you know them (based on 140 character blips), then you meet them and they ARE the same. That’s pretty cool! At that point you’ve found someone who is truly sharing themselves to develop relationships on- and off-line (i.e. transparency).
@Gruven_Reuven, So true…even in person we are guarded (in the name of ‘professionalism’). I really like your examples—they help to connect the dots. I am sure your son thought your friend was omnipotent! As I meet more and more on-line people IRL, the conversations do go to the next level because the awkward ‘how are you moment’ was established months ago. And that’s great when it’s someone we want to know us…but what about those folks who think they know us, but then cross the line because they don’t really? Just one more thing to consider.
@Chel, we met in Philly before we started following each other on Twitter, so do you think that we wouldn’t have conversations on Twitter if we hadn’t meet first in person? It’s almost seems like the proverbial chicken and egg question. What comes first communication or conversation? I see your point though; it’s more like taking the pulse of the community when it’s in 140-characters. It seems so simple for us to say, yes, it’s the same thing for companies…they just need to ask ‘what can I do for you’ and listen. But they really struggle with this basic concept. I think the tides are turning, but it’ll take time. Thanks for picking up this post in the Vibemetrix Daily Vibe, it’s much appreciated!
@Webconomist, interestingly enough LinkedIn keeps coming up in conversation as a ‘social network.’ It’s moved from being an on-line resume, on-line rolodex to network because people are taking advantage of the Q&A portion to have discussions. But, to your point recommendations are very important. I just heard from someone on Twitter that some corporations do not allowing employees to provide recommendations for other (or previous) employees. This strikes me as odd because it’s also a recommendation for the company (yes, we hire great people!).
I get a kick out of the need for big business mavens to constantly create new opportunities to play buzz word bingo. “Ambient awarenesss”? – gag me with a spoon.
We do this so we can compartmentalize life and make it nice and tidy to understand. But relationships are always more complex than this.
Onine updates can:
1) create credibility – What you say seems to make sense or resonate with the way I view the world around me. You are someone I might want to let rub off on me.
2) attract the trust of others by serving them: meeting the needs of others by sending them to the right resources. One woman wanted an online credit card processing contact. I had five to give her w/ recommendations on how each might work for her.
3) repel others by trying to sell them: nobody wants to be sold anything, we all want to buy. if we try to sell ourselves or our wares, people run.
4) create an initial connection – hmmm…maybe there is more here to help both our businesses…let’s get a cup of coffee.
5) clarify there is no connection – people who are raging networkers – trying to contact everyone – make me run the other way. Stop networking and build a network. Stop trying to build a list of contacts and start making meaningful connectios with a few people.
And please, please don’t encourage the social scientists by adopting big business buzz words like “ambient awareness”. People buy from people, and they buy more from people they like. I’ve never bought anything from someone who was a master of “ambient awareness”.
@BethHarte: (folks who think they know us, but then cross the line because they don’t really?)
Interesting point, But then again, I think this is a problem in Real Life as well. The advantage of social media is we can block/turn off such individuals. Actually we can do that much easier via Social Media. For example, I am openly Jewish both online and IRL, and as such I have been subjected to anti-Semitism in both. It’s pretty easy to boot/Block a person who is messing with me, or interrupting a Study Session I am holding on SecondLife. I wish I had that sort of ability In real life when confronted. (for example I nearly had the stuffing beat out of me in Vegas were it not for a Police car to pull up in the nick of time) That’s only one example where I wish I could simply click a “go away” button in Real Life.
Then again my example is extreme, however I think the same hold true for folks who “innocently” cross the line (that you may not want to block). But doesn’t that happen IRL as well? People misinterpret us there as well. Although I guess it probably happens more in Social Media.
@ChuckBlakeman, thanks for stopping by and adding to the conversation…great points. But, before you gag too much on that spoon, you might want to re-read the NYT article and my post…social scientists coined ‘ambient awareness’ not the NYT or any big business mavens that I am aware of. Again, if you read my post, you’ll see that I am not promoting ambient awareness…my point was that these pings across mass socnets do not equate to conversation or building relationships. Which goes exactly to your point, people buy from the ‘who’ not the ‘what.’ That said, others felt that these little 140-character interactions do help to build relationships.
@Gruven_Reuven, I totally agree…it is so much easier to block someone on-line than in person. I am always amazed at what people will say to your face. On-line, I have done my fair share of blocking…one click and they are gone.
I love the fact that you hold study sessions on SL, that is really cool and probably makes it so much easier to include folks from all over the world. I have an SL account, but have yet to venture out there…it’s a bit intimidating.
I am so sorry to hear about the Vegas incident, that is truly terrible.